Rediscovering Intimacy: Sex and Pleasure After Birth

Congratulations! If you’ve found your way to this article, chances are you’ve recently welcomed your bundle of joy or are in the exciting countdown to do so.

After all the ups and downs of pregnancy and childbirth and getting used to the exciting and sometimes challenging life as a new parent, it’s perfectly natural to have questions, concerns, or even a bit of nervousness about intimacy.

This article is here for you—whether you are or want to be ready to slowly rediscover intimacy and pleasure with yourself or with a partner or if you’re just curious about what lies ahead.

Come with us as we explore everything from physical and emotional changes to tips and tricks for navigating this new chapter in a safe, loving way with patience and confidence.

The Recovery Phase: Your Body’s Amazing Journey

The first few weeks after childbirth, known as the postpartum period, are all about recovery, healing and adjusting - after all, your body just created life!

Every birth experience is unique, and so is the recovery. Whether you’ve experienced the intensity of vaginal childbirth or the careful healing process of a C-section, your body has undergone an incredible transformation.

Self-care plays a vital role in postpartum recovery. Adequate rest, nutrition, and hydration support your body as it heals.

C-section vs. Vaginal Birth

On average, active vaginal labour can last from 4 to 8 hours, whereas up to 9 out of 10 women will experience some type of tear, graze or episiotomy during delivery. 

While the actual operation for a c-section usually takes between 30 and 60 minutes, the recovery time is longer since your body will need to recover from both childbirth and surgery. While the procedure itself is relatively quick, the recovery process is longer compared to vaginal birth.

Regardless of the type of delivery, waiting the recommended time before being intimate again is extremely important. While some women might not even feel comfortable around the thought of being intimate again, others cannot wait for the day to go right back to having some sexy time again.

So When Can I Have Sex Again?

Around the six-week mark after childbirth, you’ll likely have a follow-up appointment with your healthcare provider. 

It is essential to wait until this visit before resuming sexual activity, as In this check-up, your doctor will examine you and your physical recovery to make sure everything is healed, avoiding longer recovery time, complications and/or infections.

Although after this visit, your doctor may give you the green light, this does not mean you have to start being intimate again right away. 

Like most women, you might not feel emotionally or physically ready after only 6-8 weeks—and that is completely okay! Don’t feel guilty; talk openly with your partner every step of the way.

Communication is Key

As with any aspect of a relationship, open and honest communication is crucial, especially during this time.

With the new routine of sleepless nights, diaper changes and the world's best snuggles, it's understandable that sex might not be at the forefront of your mind. Sharing your feelings, fears, and desires with your partner can help build understanding and patience.

The Power of Patience: Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Patience is key as you ease back into intimacy.

Take things at your own pace and listen to your body. It’s normal for desire and arousal patterns to change, so don’t rush the process. Rushing can often lead to discomfort or feelings of pressure.

For many women, emotional closeness and non-sexual intimacy can lay a beautiful foundation for reconnecting with their partner. This can include simple gestures such as:

• Holding hands: A touch as subtle as holding hands can communicate affection and connection without the pressure of sexual expectations.
• Cuddling: Whether on the couch, in bed, or while soothing your little one. Skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin, the "love hormone," promoting bonding and relaxation.
• Talking: Share your thoughts, fears, and hopes with your partner. Honest communication builds trust and strengthens your bond.
• Shared Activities: Engage in activities that you both enjoy, such as cooking together, taking a walk, or simply spending quality time.

Rediscovering Pleasure

Exploring pleasure and intimacy postpartum often requires a period of adjustment and time to rediscover what feels good. 

For many, having penetrative sex after childbirth might be scary to start with. Things might not only look but also feel different down there, and a great way to get started is exploring non-penetrative sex options, which can look like:

• Erotic massages
• Oral sex
• Mutual masturbation
• External stimulation
• Sex toys

Lube: Your New Best Friend

Once you're ready for internal stimulation or intercourse, lubes will be your best friend. 

Postpartum hormones can impact vaginal lubrication, so a good lubricant is a game-changer for comfort and pleasure - not only for you but also for your partner. 

We recommend a good water-based lube, such as Kaerlig Organic Water-based Lube, Sinful Strawberry Flavoured Lubricant, or Swede Woman Sensitive Lube. 

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, challenges may arise that require professional guidance.

Whether it’s addressing physical discomfort, navigating emotional changes, or exploring intimacy concerns, seeking help from healthcare providers or counsellors is a proactive step towards reclaiming your overall and sexual well-being.

When to Seek Help

• Persistent pain or discomfort during intercourse
• Lingering emotional distress impacting intimacy
• Difficulty with physical recovery or healing concerns

After all...

Embracing intimacy after childbirth is a journey unique to every woman and couple.

Your body has been through an incredible transformation, and it deserves care and respect, so listen to your body and communicate openly with your partner.

There’s no race to reach any milestones, so celebrate each tiny victory, no matter how "small", and always keep your well-being front and centre.

Remember: You’ve brought life into this world, and now, you’re starting a new phase of your own. Embrace the journey ahead with courage, love, and the knowledge that you are sooooo much more powerful than you think. Happy rediscovery, mama!